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Friday, 09 October 2015

Red Lion Pub Run - 7 October 2015

Eight brave souls attended the pub run in 3rd world Earbyoathia last night with a couple of stragglers trapping for drink afterwards.  There were three welcome backs last night as Satnav returned, as did Lee McCash and Doc Bryan. The pace was once again set by the eager pairing of Andy Collins and Mike "Eager Spaniel" Sellors.  Hoping that the gruelling ultra which took him about 5 days to complete would render the exuberant Sellors tired.  This was soon dispelled as false hope as he quickly made his way up the track chatting away and slowly dropping everyone one by one as they went straight up the race route to the pinnacle on Pinhaw moor.   It was at this point we noticed Satnav was struggling a tad and he quickly horrified us by showing us why.  He opened his top and once we had got over the fact his chest looking like a heavily picked at carcass we saw the bruising he had from falling off his bike.  Obviously in true Barlick fashion he was ridiculed for his bad fortune and once again we were on our way. The next incident of note was that of the man they call Halliday.  As we were running through a bit of bog to us normal sized men it quickly became apparent that Dave had found a man trap.  Quite why he squealed nobody knows.  Sellors nearly stopped to help him from his self made muddle, but quickly thought better of it and continued on.  The finish of the run was met with glee and a well earned beer in The Red Lion, or so we thought!  Once inside the pungent aroma of damp filled our freshly emptied nostrils.  The key to a good pint here is let a couple order one first and then follow them so you know it hasn't been sat in the lines all week.   Usually I would be over the moon at The Doc buying me a pint but he was onto my plan and quickly despatched the first one into my shaking hand.  Once arse had found chair I waited for it to clear.  Sweat was literally rolling down my forehead as McCash smiled and offered me a pork scratching.  The rest of lads sat down, but to our collective horror it seemed it was not just my pint.  I tried to drink it but to be honest I would rather of tried one them grubs in the bushtucker trials.  Quickly thinking about our bowel movements for the next day, we shot out and retired to the Punch Bowl.  I have to say a very nice pub and this will be where we go on our next venture into the third world state of Earbyoathia.  Greeted by a lovely young lady doing her ironing behind the bar.  The first man this week to hear the crack of the whip was Big Dave Halliday.  As the phones rolled out it quickly dawned on us that Screw "manflu" Driver was now present in the pub.  He was obviously making sure Ingham hadn't trapped before sampling the delights of the Earby hostelries.   The pub run moves to Kelbrook next week.  Will Jock make it?  Will Jack Ingham grow a pair? Will we have new blood to heckle?  Who knows?