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Thursday, 24 September 2015

Pub Run, Calf's Head - 23 September 2015

This weeks pub run took place at The Calf's Head at Worston.  After much Facebook organisation Dave Halliday decided to take the green mystery machine and pick me, Andy 'whipped' Collins, Screw, Fat Jock and Pete 'smooth Legs' Beresford up.  We arrived early for a change due to the fact Screw wasn't driving and we were met at our destination by young Sellors on his Hairdryer.  Having recently passed his bike test the Ultra specialist is becoming a permanent fixture on the pub runs.  Nick Kendall and Craig Childs made the 7pm cut off point for the start of the run.  No Satnav, Palin or Massive this week so surely we wouldn't get lost!  We decided the best route to take would be the Mearley Clough ascent which was tough and relatively straight forward. Then the clag got thicker, the skies got darker and Sellors got faster.  Usually its the whipped back of Collins we see on the pub runs but Sellors was off like an eager spaniel yapping away as he decimated the pub run field.  Its fair to say the young lad needs to dig deep and buy himself a proper headtorch for the winter season as Swellheads bonce gives off more light on a clear night.  Once we reached the scout cairn it soon became clear we couldn't find a proper path so we just headed in the general direction of where we wanted to be.  It turns out it wasn't at all where we wanted to be at all.  Usually we have John Boothman's quality Satnav gizmo to put us back on track, not tonight!  So on we ploughed over rocks, through bogs, peoples gardens and farmyards.  We eventually found a road and could hear the A59 and Fat Jock went into auto pilot.  We didn't believe he knew where he was going so we consulted everyone's google sat nav on the phone and it turned out the big man was right.  We returned to what used to be a decent pub only a year ago.  Not tonight, Basil Fawlty was more organised than this crew.  After 20 minutes at the bar whilst the staff got their act together we eventually got sat down to discuss whose fault the getting lost part was.  We decided it fell on the heads of the 3 stooges of Satnav, Palin and Massive for not being present.  The craic ensued and we found the perfect mobile phone app for Andy Collins.  It turns out there is an app you can download that does the sound of a whip cracking when you do the whipping motion at your perceived target.  Needless to say poor old Collins got it all the way home.  Great night but we're still missing sicknote Ingham and his astounding level of sarcasm.  We have however worked out that when Screw is at the pub runs he's nowhere to be seen.  Speculation is mounting he makes regular trips to Priory Way come 7pm Wednesday.  Its the last of the summer pub runs next week but you'll need a headtorch for definite.